10 Ways To Manage Burnout
Are you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed, flustered and burnt out? In the lead up to Christmas, I’ve heard some mothers describe themselves as limping towards the finish line – the end of the year. Often with various obligations to attend to, school functions and festivals, end of year celebrations, family arriving for Christmas and school holidays; this particular time of year can be incredibly “full” with no break in sight. In clinical practice, some of the most common complaints I hear from women, and indeed mothers; are extreme fatigue, overwhelm and burn out.
In 2017, I suffered from burnout and “hospital fatigue” after working for almost 10 years in Emergency Departments and juggling that with becoming a mother. The irregular hours, night shifts and stressful work environment played havoc with my nervous system. Running off adrenaline, I was constantly in fight or flight (sympathetic nervous system), severely sleep deprived with a disrupted circadian rhythm (sleep wake cycle), depleted and burnt out.
In the end, my body stopped me, when after a particularly grueling night shift in Emergency where I had to escort a critically ill patient in the ambulance to a larger hospital, I ended up finishing my shift at 3am instead of 11pm. As a single mother with two small children at the time, I was woken before 6am and found myself unable to get out of bed due to severe back pain.
Tears streaming down my face, I called my sisters to see if they could come and help me with the children but of course they had to work and they had their own life. I felt very alone and realized that this could not go on. I had to find a new way to work and to function as a working mother. In the weeks that followed, I felt extremely anxious going to work and I felt my compassion wane and my productivity falter. I had lost my spark. It took a lot of consideration and courage to finally leave my role in Emergency and to trust that something better, more suited to my current life stage would come along. And it did. And I’m so glad I took that leap of faith and decided to trust myself and listen to my body.
In May 2019, The World Health Organisation confirmed what most health practitioners likely already know. The WHO has recognised burnout as a medical condition in its International Classification of Diseases (ICD). In the new classification, the WHO defines burnout as:
“[Burnout is] a syndrome conceptualised as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”
The syndrome is characterised by three dimensions;
Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion
Increased mental distance or feelings of negativism/cynicism related to one’s job
Reduced professional efficacy
I believe these dimensions can also be applied to motherhood – one of the most important jobs we can do and one that is unpaid and undervalued by society. Whether you are a working mother, a full time stay at home mum or a single mother, the daily juggle / struggle is real; wherein we try to balance family life, work commitments, relationships, social activities, community engagement and somewhere in there squeeze in some self-care!
The pressures on the modern mother are at an all-time high and here at Space to Flow, we aim to help mothers discover simple, practical rituals and rhythms to create more space for ease and grace everyday. Here are some tips to help manage burn out – they all start with ‘S’ so hopefully you can remember even just one or two, and I hope they help you stay calm as we battle burnout and fatigue in our “work” as mothers.
Here are my top 10 tips for managing burnout —
1. Slow Down
In this modern world, it seems everyone is always rushing and hustling, going faster and faster, trying to squeeze in more and more. Something’s got to give. We have to slow down. Even if you are in a rush, try to do each task more slowly and deliberately than feels natural. Slow is the new fast. Avoid multi-tasking because you just end up doing a few things badly. It’s better to apply a mindful approach to tasks, deliberately focusing on one thing at a time – single tasking – will greatly reduce overwhelm. Try to do less (there is a great book about this by Kate Northrup, which I highly recommend).
2. Switch Off
This seems radical in our hyperconnected world but if you are feeling anxious, burnt out and overwhelmed, one of the simplest things to do is just unplug. Turn off your phone for an hour while you go for a walk, turn off your laptop, turn off the TV, turn off all notifications on your phone. Turn them all off and tune into the present – what is in front of you (most likely your kids waiting for connection).
3. Simplify
Keep it simple. It seems obvious, but so often, we make life more complicated than it needs to be. Get very clear on what is important to you, what you value above all else, and get rid of the rest. There is no time, space or energy for things that don’t fill you up. And on the topic of things… time to de-clutter – get rid of anything in your house that does not bring you joy or serve a purpose. The lightness you feel when you rid yourself of excess stuff, gives you a sense of spaciousness and calm. Be conscious about what you bring into your home, what you purchase. Be conscious consumers. Buying fewer “things” of better quality is calming and good for the environment too!
4. Say No
If you feel like you over commit or have trouble saying no then it is time to let that go. When you say no to someone or something, you say yes to yourself. There is no need for lengthy explanations or justifications, just simply, politely decline.
5. Sleep
When you can – rest as often as you can. This is such a touchy topic for many mothers (myself included) because we are so chronically sleep deprived and more often than not, we cannot simply “sleep when baby sleeps”. So my advice is, just to rest when you can. Even if it’s just for five minutes, try to get horizontal (on the couch or bed, even in a hammock), close your eyes and do some deep breathing or yoga nidra. Vedic Meditation also greatly helps with sleep deprivation and meditating for just 20 minutes is equivalent to a few hours sleep for your body – amazing!
6. Soothe Your Nervous System
Switch off the sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight or freeze) and activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest). Some effective ways to do this are; meditation, breathwork, Yin (restorative) yoga, walk barefoot in nature, Acupuncture and Abhyanga (self-massage with oil).
7. Stimulants
Try to limit or avoid completely – they put pressure on your adrenals which will already be working overtime in your burnt out state producing stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Not good! If you can’t avoid completely then try to limit all caffeine, sugar, alcohol, processed foods, loud overcrowded places (like shopping malls) and energy drinks (of course). Instead, look for adrenal support in medicinal mushrooms like He Shou Wu (I like Superfeast JING adrenal tonic) and herbs such as Ashwagandha and Rhodiola rosea, however do consult your naturopath before prescribing adaptogenic/adrenal tonic herbs to ensure maximum suitability.
8. Support
Ask for it! Community is everything. We need each other. If you’re lucky enough to have family nearby, then ask them for help. If not, try to connect with a few friends from the sisterhood, so that you are close enough to ask for support and offer it when they need it. There is no shame in asking for help. Surrender into that feeling of vulnerability and accept offers of help graciously. When you have regained your equilibrium you will be able to return the favour to your fellow mamas.
9. Speak
Speak to your partner about what you need. Have an open, honest discussion about how you are feeling and if you’re not coping. Tell them (very clearly) what you need and what they can do to help. And then ask them how they are coping. If you are burnt out and suffering then it is likely that your partner is feeling it too. Try to support each other. There is no room for criticism or judgement in your intimate relationships – you are in this together.
10. See Your GP
If things don’t improve or you are worried see your GP. There may be something more physiological going on and it would be wise to be assessed by a health professional and maybe get some bloods done. Extreme fatigue can be caused by a number of nutrient deficiencies; commonly iron and vitamin B12, which can be easily fixed. Also, ask your GP to check your thyroid function and look for signs of auto-immune disease as this can result from chronic stress and existing in the sympathetic nervous system for a prolonged period.
Yours in health,
Camilla x